What language are you speaking
Recently, I counselled a couple preparing for marriage. They were very animated and excited in our meeting. Until, I asked the future groom if he knew is brides' dominate love language. He looked startled and responded. “She likes whatever I give her.”
I then asked the future wife how she knew he really loved her. Her response was a bit different than his. She said “I like it when he spends time with me. He puts away his phone and helps me do whatever we have to do. Sometimes we play silly games.”
Amazed the groom said “I thought you loved the blouse I bought and the flowers.” Her response was “I do; I like the gifts because we were together obtaining them. That was fun and more precious to me.”
The lesson from this discussion for me was to pay attention to how people define love. Of the 5 love languages most people have a dominate two. Gift giving, words of affirmation, touching, time and acts of service are all important in a thriving relationship. However, getting to know someone is find out what they prefer. This knowledge will come in handy in day to day encounters, special occasions and in a reconciliation moment after a separation, crisis or just because.
Think about what is the dominate way you learned love and share with people that you love. For more information, read the book “The five love languages” and/or talk with a Spiritual Counsellor to help you navigate couple and family-hood.
Peace, This is Denise